Job Title: Santa’s Helper
Salary: Ultimate Job Satisfaction
Location: The Arctic Circle
Reference: C2021
We have been assigned a big project, and asked to handle it with urgency
A code red alarm has been raised, the North Pole is in a state of emergency
The Omnicrom variant has managed to make its way to Santa’s workshop
They need a whole new workforce fast so Christmas isn’t a total flop
So if you are perhaps looking for some seasonal work at this time of year
There’s no need to look further, your perfect opportunity is right here
The skills gained over your career in production will come to good use
There’s a week left until Christmas and so many presents still to produce
We do have to warn you, hours will be long and you won’t often get a break
This is not a job for the typical millennial, otherwise known as a Snowflake
Equality and human rights are not topics discussed at this work place
There is no one making a stance about gender, religion nor race
Another deterrent for the younger generation is what’s available to eat
Veganism is a foreign concept, all they serve is a plate of gravy and meat
Teas and coffees are accompanied by full fat milk produced by a cow
There is no soya option, or whatever dairy alternative it is they have now
We need someone with a good eye for detail and who makes no mistakes
Would you call yourself a true grafter and think you have what it takes?
Christmas needs saving and we don’t have much time before the big day
So help us get this team together to make presents for Santa’s sleigh
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