Job Title: Operations Manager

Salary: Unlimited Candy Canes

Location: The North Pole

Reference: Christmas

Contact: George Thompson

Telephone: 0141 647 6688

Categories: Uncategorized

There is a special time of year that’s only a few days away,

And our client urgently needs you to help fill his sleigh.

This client is someone that I am sure you all know,

He comes around once a year, dashing through the snow.

We are looking for someone to manage the production of toys,

To deliver on Christmas day to all the good girls and boys.

This person we seek must have a manufacturing background,

And organisational skills will most definitely must be sound.

If you have no experience of making children’s toys, that is okay,

Training will be given to ensure presents arrive on the day.  

So long as you are skilled in working to tight deadlines,

And will not be fazed by the giant book of guidelines.

Within your skill set will be the ability to delegate,

And an eye for detail to produce products so ornate.

You must be able to juggle more tasks than just one,

But at the same time, still be able to have some fun.

Our client’s workshop is always filled with laughter and cheer,

As for them this is the most important time of the year.

This job is for someone whose excitement for Christmas is huge,

Not someone whose personality reflects that of Scrooge.

If you havnt guessed already, our client is Santa Claus,

And this is an important job which cannot be put on pause.

After all Santa is a man, so cannot do everything himself,

That is why we have an urgent need to find his head elf.

Please note that traditionally elves are very small,

But if you’re over 5 foot 2 it’s no longer too tall.

According to society jobs must be inclusive,

If we didn’t open this everyone we’d be seen as abusive.

Like here, the north pole is so focused on equality,

Women, men, animals alike are all treated like royalty.

So if you identify yourself as a male, female or penguin,

This is the chance for your life as an elf to begin.

In a world where everything is so politically correct

You must tip toe round everything to command respect.

Note that Santa’s workers will no longer answer to “elf”

“Vertically challenged beings” is what they call oneself.

Santa’s sleigh must always be full as it travels the night sky,

And what makes our life easy is that anyone can apply.

So, no matter what gender, species or colour you may be,

You could be the next head elf, just send your CV.  

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